It looked a bit weird, the T-shirt, grey with pink ornaments. It took me a while to figure out that the pink ornaments where actually letters. Now, I think printing words on clothes is almost always a stupid idea. Because, dear clothes manufacturers, words are meant to be read. You can’t just print a word or several or even - whatsitcalled? Oh yes, a sentence! - on a T-shirt and expect people not to read them. So, you better think good before you go ahead and write random stuff on clothes.
Since queueing was a bit boring and I had some unused brain capacity left I started to decipher the letters. There where random letters and fragments but I could also read “Rich Bitch”, “Money makes me horney” (sic!), “Oh yeah” and “Diamonds are girls best friends” (sic!).
I must say I was quite tempted. Quite tempted to tap the lady on the shoulder and ask her whether she knew what slogans she was sporting.
However, I pretty quickly realized that such an intervention was bound to go downhill in free fall because it would have had to be started like this:
Me: “Excuse me, but do you know what is written on your T-shirt?”
Lady in T-shirt, possible answer 1: “Sure, honey, it says that I’m a well off bitch, money makes me wanna fuck, oh yes and carbon based jewels are a young woman’s best companion.”
That, to be honest, would have been the nightmare version. The other one is only slightly better, though:
Lady in T-shirt, possible answer 2: “No, my dear, what does it say?”
Me: “It more or less says you’re a whore with spelling problems.”
Which I would have never said, of course. I’d have said “oh, well, nothing important, really.”
|Words on a T-shirt: almost always a bad idea|
But since this two conversations played in my head while I studied the words I never asked her the question.
However, I decided to pay attention the following day. This is what I saw printed on clothes, amongst (too many) other things:
No.1 Certificate College for Cuteness
Happy Girl Revolution
Sexy Love and Kisses
Get up for Music!
Baby Express Taxi Unlimited
I’m a Boy Scout, okay?
Smile like you never smiled before
Ski Right Inc.
Goodbye Hello my friend
Fun University Established
Then I had to stop and go to the nearest pharmacy. It was only 2 p.m. and I really needed 500 mg of Parecetamol to treat my headache.