Friday, April 27, 2012

Are You Experienced?

Every now and then I come across a personal ad of a Dom/me claiming to be experienced seeking a sub. Now, of course, experienced totally tells me nothing. Nada. Zilch. Nütelinüt, to paraphrase an old Swiss song.
But, apparently, a lot of those domly types seem to think that the usage of the word experience and its deviations in itself is enough to explain everything a potential sub might want to know about them.

Guess what: It doesn't … ah well, look above … Experienced with what? Needle play? Orgasm denial? Milking cows? Scratching your balls? Having your cock sucked?
(Coming to think of it I have seen this done mostly if not exclusively by males)

So, folks. Elaborate on your experience! Tell us about it. Explain yourself. If you don't, it's just an empty claim. Worse, it makes you look like an arrogant idiot.

You know, you've got only once chance to leave a first impression and you've just fucked it all up. With me, at least. Which isn't all that horrible, coz I've never really been your targeted audience to begin with.
Still, if it has me running away screaming it might do the same with others.

Funny enough, I can't remember ever having seen a personal ad by a sub who claimed she/he was an experienced sub.
Which I think is wrong. Because, if properly explained, it is just as good a sales argument as the experience claimed by a Dom/me. It needs to be filled with meaning, though.

In the meantime Patti Smith's version of "Are You Experienced"

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Fifty Shades of Stupid

No, I haven't read the book. I won't, either. I have read review, though. I've also read two commentaries focusing on the book's huge success, one by a male, one by a female. Both came to a very surprising conclusion: The reason why so many women buy this book is because - gasp! - women are submissive. By default. All of them. The authors of the commentaries didn't explicitly say so, but both of them clearly implied that.

Yeah, right, some women are submissive. Most aren't. Some are submissive in bed, for some it's a rational and informed choice, for some (much too many) it's not a choice at all, but their culturally and/or socially enforced role.

But to say that E.L.James' book or rather it's phenomenal success, is proof of women being submissive by default is more than just stupid. It's about as smart as saying that the fact that half of Europe's male population was watching Real Madrid's victory over Bayern München is proof that European males are by default accomplished football players. 

Exactly fifty shades of grey. Not Grey

Guess what: They're not Lionel Messi. And we're not Anastasia Steele.

If anything, Fifty Shades of Grey is proof that women want a rich, handsome, adventurous lover who actually cares about them. Plus, on the sex side: They also want a man who can think of more than missionary sex and blowjobs.

Me, I'd like that book rewritten with the hero being a pot-bellied and balding, unemployed middle aged bloke living in a trailer park but still with all the character traits of Christian Grey.

Guess how many women will read that book?