Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Shove them elsewhere

Thou shalt ... err ... I ...
He told me to tell you ...
The 10 Kink Commandments

(as seen on the world wild web)

1) All activity must be safe (we do not cause true harm), sane (we only engage in activity when we are clear of mind), and consensual.

Oh shit. The clear of mind thingy totally ruins it for me. Can't remember when, if ever, that happened to be the case.

2) We must always be respectful of our partner’s safe word (red/yellow/green) and their hard limits.

What if mine's «sissy»?

3) We only enter into activities after we have gained trust, education, and an open mind.

Or else, if I'm just too damn horny to keep my legs closed.

4) We must always be polite and ask questions.

Polite? Eww, crap, polite is sooo boring. Someone please pass me the caffeine infusion, I'm falling asleep here.

5) We must not touch other people's equipment without permission.

You know, this here isn't about adults enjoying some kinky time. This here is kindergarten where you're taught the basics and if you don't learn fast enough you'll be hit on your fingers with a splintered ruler.

6) We must always be clean, hygienic, and mindful of our own equipment.

Because of, you know, the SPERMS. Err … germs. Germs, not sperm. 

7) We must always be mindful of aftercare.

Remind me later, ok?

8) We do not engage in humiliating and degrading scenes for solely our own amusement.

But … but … but it's all about me, isn't it?

9) We always protect each others anonymity from the harsh eyes of the vanilla world.

You protect yours, I do with mine whatever the heck I want.

10) Most importantly, we do not forget to have a good time.

*Snaps to attention* "Yes, Ma'am/Sir. This slave dutifully reports that fun has been had by, well, hmm, by her. Dunno about you and frankly, I don't give a rat's ass, either."

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